Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Her joy when she saw that he understood her.

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Nor the cutting brutalities with which I garnished our interviews had the least effect. "Jack darling!" was her one eternal cuckoo cry: "I'm sure it's all a mistake--a hideous mistake; and we'll be good friends again some day. _Please_ forgive me Jack dear. " I was the offender and I knew it. That knowledge transformed my pity into passive endurance and eventually into blind hate--the same instinct I suppose which prompts a man to savagely stamp on the spider he has but half killed. And with this hate in my bosom the season of 1882 came to an end. Next year we met again at Simla--she with her monotonous face and timid attempts at reconciliation and I with loathing of her in every fibre of my frame. Several times I could not avoid meeting her alone; and on each occasion her words were identically the same. Still the unreasoning wail that it was all a "mistake"; and still the hope of eventually "making friends..
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